I’m a big fat liar

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So it turns out I have a problem with the truth. I was confronted this past week by someone I respect very much and have newfound appreciation. He said, “…I believe you tend to convolute the truth so you feel okay about what you are doing.”

Those are tough words to swallow. Whether or not he had me fully pinned down, it turns out he had every right to pass any judgement on me he so desired. Let me back up.

Some time back I made some legal inquiries that pertained to a business contract. I wanted to know my rights if the “$*&^ hit the fan”, so to speak, and also wanted some negotiating leverage for a conversation I was preparing.

During one of these meetings I was confronted about these legal activities. I remember being slightly taken aback, but figured I may have mentioned something in a prior meeting.

Bottom line, I lied about the purpose for my visit, and would continue to stick to this lie for the next six months.

Over the course of this time, I would have many meetings, all of which would end in ridiculous arguments. I couldn’t understand what was happening. What had changed? As far as I was concerned all was well.

After one of these blow-up sessions and some serious praying, I had a bout of conscience. I was reminded of my shortcomings. I picked up the phone and confessed my lie. I was once again taken aback when I heard, “I already know all this.”

Wow, I felt small. Here was a man who, while knowing I had directly lied to him, continued to treat me with kindness and fairness, even to the point of going out of his way to ensure I had everything I needed.

I have heard many times, “Bless those who curse you and pray for those who despitefully use you.”, and here I was on the cursing end of that. So, yeah, I would say he had every right to pass judgement on me.

It made me really stop and think. Take inventory of my motives and actions. Am I being the person that I profess to be or just a phony? It’s hard to know when you are a big fat liar.

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